It's All Your Fault

I thought it was about time that I reversed the tables on my wife and blatantly ripped off one of her ideas, touting it as my own. I was lamenting to her yesterday that my volleyball teams were suffering from lack of drive and that some of the players had expressed concern over those who weren't trying as hard. Erika's point was that whenever a group or team is criticized for something assume that it is you who is the most lacking and needs to change. At first this sounds like a recipe for becoming a doormat, always asumming that you are the worst offender, but I think there is merit to it as long as you realize the reason behind it.

The goal of any competitive venture should be improvement should be to improve. Yes, winning is nice, but if it's your only goal you will be sorely disappointed time and time again, especially when you just start into something and everyone else is better than you. Those who can lose and learn and improve will eventually become winners. Those who must win to continue in the effort will quit and lose altogether.

As I thought about Erika's point I began to realize its importance in all aspects of life and, believe or not, I even thought about it in relation to our lives as Christ-imitaters. The part about improving is especially pertinant here as we will always lose in following Christ's example perfectly, but we can always improve and keep ourselves oriented towards Him. Thinking about this in relation to The House, I realized that I do not have this attitude most times and that I can easily point to others who need to pick up the slack or find ways of avoiding criticisms (my own or others') by convincing myself that they are directed to someone else.

It's important for me to point out that I'm not saying we should all look at ourselves as crap, but rather, that adopting this attitude keeps us humble and always improving. It prevents us from keeping score, saying "I'm a better prayerist than thou," or "You're the worst at exhortation." It also ensures that we are moving forward in our lives because none of us are "good enough" at anything, there's no such thing as "good enough", we're never there, there's only good-er (Grammar Nazi Deterrent: I realize this is not proper English, but the alternative was bett-er and I'm not sure that "more bett" really got the point across), deep-er, strong-er, holy-er.

I encourage all of us to adopt the attitude that if something needs to be done or a certain aspect is lacking that you take the initiative and assume that it is you who needs to improve, add, or alter it.

Of Poetry And Ketchup

I was quite interested to hear the responses to my last post. I have never really written a poem before (if that's even what you'd call it) and certainly never shared one. It seems that some were worried about me (a comforting thought) and how I was doing. Well, I thought I should clarify that the poem was not really about me...sort of. It was an expression of a feeling that I have had lately that, while I am surrounded by people who hurt, I have been relatively unscathed by the storm.

Having done this, I have probably broken the cardinal rule of not explaining poetry, but screw it!

In other news, I have been quite enjoying the goings on of The House lately. Despite the fact that there have been no huge, organized events or major happenings (not to mention the total lack of Matt) I have relished the small things (and ketchuped the rest). After a good discussion with MacK last week, in which he soundly scolded me for all the wrong in the world, I have enjoyed working with him to keep us moving towards Christlikeness. It was also good to be able to spend more time with Jeremy this past weekend as time with him is a novelty (tear!). Yes, it seems that I have been blessed with more solid time with those whom I care about and that the foundations of The House are strong in the force.

The Hurting of The Hurting

A lone island
A wash of pain, a gain of none
Alone is land
Awash again

Thanks A Lot

You know the saying "careful what you wish for, it may come true"? Well it did. I pray at The House gathering yesterday that God would be a thorn in my flesh (yeah, okay, not the smartest thing to do...it's like walking into a room of cobras and saying "let's see what you got!"). I prayed that He would not allow me to be comfortable with the superficial "how's it going?" approach to relationships. I prayed that I would be uncomfortable with not being intentional in my relationships and that He would nag me to seek deeper. Well, guess what...Omni-Nag!

The problem with prayer is that it only works when you pray God's will and His will is rarely the super fun, no work, happy dance way of things. But once you plunge into the impunitious maelstrom that is God's will there is no end to where it will take you.

Gifts

Don't you love it when you buy the perfect gift for someone and you know that they will love it, but the anticipation builds because their birthday is still 2 weeks away. I just bought Erika's birthday gift and she's won't believe it. It's a brand new...haha Erika, you didn't think I would actually slip up and reveal it on my blog did you? I wouldn't be so foolish as to tell that I got you a @$^#&%! Mwahahaha!

God's Time

Despite the lack of commentage on the cutest of all pictures ever, I will post again.

Matt, Amanda, Erika, and I went to Millwoods E-Free this past Sunday morning as a PR exercise (Matt's words). We plan to attend each one of our new sister churches in Edmonton to get to know the pastors and members a little better. Millwoods is a nice, small church with a very simple service. The easy-going nature of the E-Free denomination was very evident in the message and the general feeling of the gathering.

As usual, I found it very difficult to engage in that setting. I know God is there and I know that people interact with Him there, but I can't see it. As we all discussed later, it seems that God was more evident in the lunch we were invited to afterwards than He was at the service.

It turns out that I share this difficulty to see in large gatherings with my wife (probably among others as well). Even in the smaller context of The House it is difficult for me to see, feel, hear (and all those other Christianese terms) God. He is more real to me in the sharing of the meal than anything. But in order to fully connect with my Creator I find I must spend time alone, solely focused on Him.

This morning I did just that in our newly erected chapel (thanks Erika and Jeremy). I have not done well lately with my disciplines of seeking God and quieting myself and my own business to listen to His. Thus it was not easy for me to sit quietly and listen, not doing anything, not performing, not moving. It was actually quite frustrating to the point of impeding my desire to try again. But I must. I need this more than any of the other resolutions I could think of for my life. More than a better diet, more exercise, less TV, more intentional relationships. More than anything I need to be focused on God and His will, and the beauty is that everything else will follow. But right now it is so hard to push for this. I find it harder than any other discipline. When you read your Bible, you are doing something. When you fast. When you pray. When you serve. Theses are all performed things. But silence and listening has nothing to do with you. You just sit and God works.

God seems so slow sometimes. Why can't He just send me memo and let me deal with it on my own time?!

Ocean Didge

A couple of promised pictures from the trip out west. Prairie boy layin' down the fat coastal rhythms.

Murphy

Here you go Rach. Eat your heart out!