God's Time

Despite the lack of commentage on the cutest of all pictures ever, I will post again.

Matt, Amanda, Erika, and I went to Millwoods E-Free this past Sunday morning as a PR exercise (Matt's words). We plan to attend each one of our new sister churches in Edmonton to get to know the pastors and members a little better. Millwoods is a nice, small church with a very simple service. The easy-going nature of the E-Free denomination was very evident in the message and the general feeling of the gathering.

As usual, I found it very difficult to engage in that setting. I know God is there and I know that people interact with Him there, but I can't see it. As we all discussed later, it seems that God was more evident in the lunch we were invited to afterwards than He was at the service.

It turns out that I share this difficulty to see in large gatherings with my wife (probably among others as well). Even in the smaller context of The House it is difficult for me to see, feel, hear (and all those other Christianese terms) God. He is more real to me in the sharing of the meal than anything. But in order to fully connect with my Creator I find I must spend time alone, solely focused on Him.

This morning I did just that in our newly erected chapel (thanks Erika and Jeremy). I have not done well lately with my disciplines of seeking God and quieting myself and my own business to listen to His. Thus it was not easy for me to sit quietly and listen, not doing anything, not performing, not moving. It was actually quite frustrating to the point of impeding my desire to try again. But I must. I need this more than any of the other resolutions I could think of for my life. More than a better diet, more exercise, less TV, more intentional relationships. More than anything I need to be focused on God and His will, and the beauty is that everything else will follow. But right now it is so hard to push for this. I find it harder than any other discipline. When you read your Bible, you are doing something. When you fast. When you pray. When you serve. Theses are all performed things. But silence and listening has nothing to do with you. You just sit and God works.

God seems so slow sometimes. Why can't He just send me memo and let me deal with it on my own time?!