The Lost Art of Buddyship

So it turns out that I'm a hypocrite. Who knew? After preaching vehemently to Erika (sorry) about how we need to be more intentional with relationships at The House and how we need to place Christ's love as our default setting instead of humor and sarcasm I went and left my phaser on stun (or is it kill) with my buddy Jorgen. It really got me thinking about the nature of relationships and how they change as people grow closer.

It all reminds me of the lost art of buddyship, a concept by I can't remember who. Essentially, relationships start based on common interests and progress to the point where a crisis of some sort takes place. While some relationships stay in the common interests stage or the second, I'll-scratch-your-back-if-you-scratch-mine stage, these don't get very deep. Friendships that turn into intimate relationships (I won't say always) always (oh...look at that, I said it) require a point where both parties need to decide if the relationship is worth the effort and potential pain.

Now somewhere along the line things change from a place where jokes and sarcasm are fine because there is enough distance in the realtionship to avoid hurt to a place where those same harmless jokes become scathing jabs. Where is this line? Is it before, after, or is it often the cause of the crisis that forces introspection? Whatever the case, it is vital that we are aware of this change because the closer we are to people the easier it is to hurt them and the deeper those hurts can reach.

Sadly, this whole issue was one of the causes that led to problems at the Sol Cafe: people wanting to build meaningful community but not putting in the effort required or changing settings on the old phase pistol. I also feel it is going to be one of the key factors in the health of The House as I have already seen glimmers of it in the cramped space of my apartment as we try to build this community.