More Butter Please

I feel spread thin these days, or at least that I am on the verge of being spread over too much toast. This feeling comes in relation to people, not work or time. It may come as a revelation to some (hopefully not a huge shock) that God has given me a huge heart for people. The reason this may come as a surprise is that my love for people is coupled with an inherent need to appear cool, in control, and stable. I think it all comes down to a fear of vulnerability and whatnot, but we will ignore that for now. Thus humor and sarcasm are my oft used allies and I come off as an insensitive jerk (back me up here Rach). But when it comes down to it I empathize strongly with people and hate to see people I care about suffering, including those I don't know well yet.

I don't know if it's the increased intimacy afforded by The House or just a swing in the cycle of life, but it seems as if there is an inordinate amount of hurting people around me right now. I feel for them more strongly than I would for my own self in similar circumstances. I feel like it is my obligation to help everyone, but I can't and so I worry that people will miss out on care.

I know I can't help everyone and I'm not saying I take the blame, but this is my heart and it hurts that I can't be there for everyone.