...When You're Down and Out

So I'm really starting to feel the heat. I haven't ahd much to write about for days and now I feel that I might bog down the entire blogger server. Things at The House have been going quite well, but all of a sudden things have sped up and I feel as though I am living proof of Heissenberg's principle (lay off spelling Nazi's!), as soon as I think to have a handle on one thing, everything else is affected and I have nothing.

Suddenly we find ourselves in a time crunch with purchasing the building we want as the owners have been forced to put it on the market due to financial pressures. Not a huge deal, but now we have to make a proposal soon and we don't have our status from the gov't yet, which we probably need before we can negotiate with the EFC trust for a down payment. More and more I see that only God can make this thing work. If this is the house that we are to be in, it will happen, if not, then we look again.

On top of this, things within The House are complicated as well. The issue of communion continues to play a large role and, although I agree that the discussion and wrestling over the issues is good, I still feel that people are losing confidence. There are also tense relationships forming, which threaten to tear things apart if not dealt with. We have talked a good deal about sacrifice in building The House, sacrificing time, money, privacy, but I see the first act of sacrifice for all involved is the sacrifce of self in a general sense, willingness to truly put others first in all things. This is not some esoteric ideal but it must go down to the root. This should not be a once-a-day thing or reserved for grand shows of self-sacrificing. It must be 24/7 giving up of our own needs, wants, or comforts, everything from giving up a comfortable chair to talking down a suicide when you'd rather play Galaga. And it must be intentional. It must shake the core of how we think when in community. How will my actions and words affect others? And not just reactive but proactive. Not simply avoiding things that might annoy or offend but breaking out of ourselves and doing things that will lift up and edify. Shit...I'm actually getting something out of journaling! What's next, decorative macrame?

On top of all of this, it is only the third of the month and our bank balance is at -$0.71. Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!