Openness
We say that at The House we seek to be fully open with our lives, that we move to a point where everything is held in common. This includes hopes, dreams, fears, philosophies, food, space, time, struggles, victories, aspirations, etc.. But how do we actually do this? There is very little precedent for this sort of thing in our societies. Even in the representative microcosm of the family this is less and less evident as western culture moves to the brink of total individualism.
It's not comfortable to share our hurts with others. I don't like letting people know that I hurt. In fact, I grew up in a family where hiding pain was the right thing to do, where no one should see you bleed because they don't need to hear about your problems. Now it feels wrong for me to express need. It feels sinful. But the Scriptures tell us to "carry each other's burdens" (Gal. 6:2, in regards to sin) and to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other" (James 5:16)...Ouch! When was the last time you confess your sins to a friend?
Another point of contention is the extent to which I have authority to speak into someone else's life. Our culture says, "Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone and we'll all be happy shiny people." If I try to help a friend in need will I be rejected? Do I reject people who try to help me? I don't like receiving charity either. I don't like having others know my flaws or vices and I don't like being vulnerable. But guess what, we all have flaws and vices and we are all vulnerable by the nature of our condition. Trying to build protection against hurt is but a mirage, a vain attempt to stave off the inevitable grip of our fallen condition. Even if you isolate yourself from all sources of rejection or hurt, i.e. humans, you will only find the sting of loneliness. And if you surround yourself with people who give love too easily, i.e. prostitutes, you will find a shallow excuse for intimacy (no mom, I'm not speaking from experience here).
So where is the balance and how do we, as The House, facilitate the journey towards openness?
You didn't actually think I would reveal the secret, did you?
posted by Chuck @ 6:43 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I think you are right, it is often pride that tells us to suffer in silence, and society has given us justification to do so. But if we look beyond our Hollywood tinted view, we are commanded to be humble, and allow others to minister to us and intervene in our misery. Without the support that Paul had while in prison I don't think he would have survived as he did. (That is not to say he would not have lived as well, just gone to be with God sooner) I believe in a community such as the house, absolute humbleness is the goal. It will probably never be achieved, it is in our nature to hide the things that we detest about ourselves. However, this being said, it is so easy to trick ourselves into thinking that once we let someone in on our pain or our flaws, our problems are solved. To confess is not to be absolved, whether of sin, pain, or sorrow. Only through submission to Christ can our sins be forgiven and our pain be healed. Everything else is temporary. I think it needs to be realized that humbleness to each other is not equal to humbleness before Christ. This is what we have been commanded. But who I am to lecture I man of the cloth? .... :-) I'm just rambling.
**EDIT** When I said "To confess is not to be absolved" I meant to confess to each other. Sorry!
Rach is right - the quest for openess is closely linked to the quest for humility. And who in their right mind actually wants to be humble? God needs to re-wire our brains in order for us to desire it, to work for it. Good thing he's up to that.
As to speaking into others' lives... good question. I sometimes think I have something specific to say to someone, but most of the time I will just be silent. I'm not sure if this is out of fear (I'm sure some of it is) or just that I'm not sure I am right.
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